Counting To More Than Ten: Coping With Unreasonable Behaviour When Caring For The Elderly

Posted in Miscellany on 02/08/2010 02:01 pm by Jim

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We have all, at one time or another, been out shopping or in public when a child has started to throw a tantrum. The parent inevitably tries to calm the child but only succeeds in making him or her worse. The parent is always embarrassed and you have immense sympathy for them. You go through the motions of feeling sorry for them and calling the child everything from spoilt to moody. Ultimately though, you are glad that it wasn’t you. Ironically, if you find yourself in the role of main carer for an elderly relative then you could also find yourself in that positions and, believe me, it is more embarrassing than the parent-child situation.

If you have had extensive experience of caring for the elderly then you will be accustomed to the token temper tantrums that occur every so often, but if you are not then it can be difficult to cope with. What makes it worse is the fact that you are related to the moody adult in question and thus are obliged to put up with it, no matter how difficult it may be at times. However, there are ways of coping with it.

Firstly, instead of thinking how mortified the individual in question would be if they realised what they were doing, reflect on exactly why the tantrum is occurring. If he or she is in the throes of a tantrum then this reflection may only be possible for a split second. However, it should allow you to understand it more and thus make you a little bit more relaxed in the situation. Take the amount of frustration you are feeling and times it by ten. That figure still won’t even come close to the amount of frustration that your elderly charge is feeling. Imagine being stuck in your body, having thoughts muddled to the point that you cannot think straight and then think whether you would be reacting in the same way as your relative is. If you were honest then the answer would be yes.

The method of reasoning above can help you cope to a certain extent, but then having the unreasonable behaviour directed towards you is a different matter and will provoke more potent feelings within you. If you take it as a personal attack then no amount of reasoning on your part will make it possible for you to cope. You have to somehow rise above it. Taking regular breaks is one method, maybe getting away from the individual for a few moments. It could even be a cry for attention, so ignoring the unreasonable behaviour or pretending that it hasn’t affected you may just put an end to it for long enough for you to gather your thoughts.

Sometimes, regular unreasonable behaviour will only last for a short while. Elderly people suffering from metal and physical ailments have a tendency to go through phases, just as children do so it is just a matter of weathering the storm and/or finding a way to cope with it. There is no definitive way to cope because everybody is different. The solution could be as obvious as listening to music through headphones for a while, or taking a short walk. Eventually, you will build up a resistance to it. Suddenly, you will find that a mental shutter comes down when the person that you are caring for begins to act unreasonably.

You will begin to recognise the signs that a tantrum is brewing and simply ignore it or head it off before it begins. All of this takes time and it doesn’t happen overnight. You have to figure out what works best for you. If it helps, take the attitude that he or she is a child again. That is essentially what they are and dealing with a child is not so alien to some as dealing with an adult is. If you can get into this mentality then it will seem so much easier to cope with unreasonable elderly behaviour.

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Caring For The Elderly: Senior Illnesses And What They Mean To You

Posted in Miscellany on 02/07/2010 02:01 pm by Jim

As we get older, we all become more susceptible to illnesses, diseases and ailments that may render us incapacitated in some way, shape or form. In some cases we may not even recover from them. It is a sad fact, but we will all eventually shake hands with the very thing that is going to kill us. However, that is not to say that all senior illnesses are incurable. In fact, there are very few that are untreatable. If you happen to be a caregiver and look after a senior on a daily basis, then there are various diseases that you may actually come into contact with and learn how to cope with via that individual. It can be difficult watching someone you care about succumb to illness at any age, but with seniors it is inevitable. A little bit of background knowledge can help to prepare you for the worst, so here is a quick guide to senior illnesses:

CANCER – Over two thirds of all seniors are affected by cancer at some point in their lives. Some forms of cancer are more common than others. Lung and breast cancer are the most common forms as found in seniors, but skin cancer also puts in an appearance in the top senior afflictions list. Cancer can be treated with great effect these days but the older the sufferer is, the more the odds of a full recovery are cut. After all, how many eighty years olds are strong enough to come through a course of chemotherapy? Any form of cancer must be caught early if a patient is to stand any chance of recovery so bodily abnormalities must be checked out by a medical professional as soon as they are discovered.

DEMENTIA – A high number of seniors also suffer from dementia. There are many forms of dementia, but they all stem from decreasing brain activity owing to degradation and resultant damage to the connections between the brain and nerve endings in the body. The cause of dementia is not known and there can be little done to effectively treat it, although some drugs do hols off the symptoms for a while. The most common form of dementia is Alzheimer’s Disease, which is generally more potent than other versions of the illness. It can be extremely frustrating for sufferers because they gradually become more confused, although they will initially know what is happening to them. It may take anywhere between a few months to many years for the full symptoms to actually emerge, but when they do it is extremely unlikely that the sufferer will know who you are.

PARKINSON’S DISEASE – Again, this is a disease that affects the nerve cells leading to the brain and like, dementia, nobody knows exactly what is behind it. Whereas dementia will affect an individual mentally, Parkinson’s primarily disables the body and then moves onto the mind. It may be apparent that a sufferer has the disease because of uncontrollable shaking, which is just as frustrating as the confusion associated with dementia. Again, there is no known cure and drugs only work for a limited time before symptoms can no longer be controlled.

DIABETES – More and more seniors are suffering with this disease as a result of their lifestyles and, primarily, their diets. As sugar and fat intake increases, the body rebels. However, diabetes is an age-old ailment that is caused by the body’s inability to produce enough insulin to keep their blood sugar levels under control. It is incurable but can be treated either by diet or medication in tablet or injection form. It will not cause the death of an individual is treated correctly. However, particular attention has to be paid to wounds that diabetics have because they have a tendency to degenerate more quickly than those in non-diabetics. Amputation of limbs is also quite common as a result of the illness. It is therefore imperative that a diagnosis is swift and observations thereafter occur daily.

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A Caregiver’s Guide To Coping With Stress

Posted in Miscellany on 02/06/2010 02:01 pm by Jim

Caring for the elderly, whether complete strangers or those related to you, can be extremely rewarding. The sense of satisfaction can be immense. However, the down side of caring is that it can be extremely frustrating and upsetting for all parties concerned, especially for the carer. Until you have actually been through it yourself you can never fully appreciate exactly how stressful it can be. It can bring out every possible negative emotion in you that you could ever think of and put you on the fast track to burnout. It is a full time occupation because you will find that it is all you ever think about, even when you are elsewhere. Therefore, it is extremely important to learn how to recognise the signs of stress and how to cope with it early on.

Caregivers can experience extreme stress over the course of their time as a carer for an elderly relative. The most upsetting thing is perhaps getting to know a person really well and then have him or her turn around and not recognise you anymore. It can be heartbreaking, but this may well happen to you. This is obviously an extreme example, but it can cause major stress on your part. There are other causes of stress when caring for the elderly as well. The list can include, but is not limited to, non-compliance with requests, violence, threatening or unreasonable behaviour, illness, confusion and then of course there is the amount of work that you will need to do in order to care for another individual on a full time basis. Even if you are not with that elderly person 24 hours a day, it is still hard to get away from the role. You will find that you constantly think about it and cannot switch off. It may even become the focus of your life until you learn how to deal with it.

It is important to recognise the symptoms. You may find that you are unable to eat, eat too much or suffer from a lack of sleep, even when you are extremely tired. You may become depressed and moody, or find yourself bursting into tear for no apparent reason other than you feel like it. You will almost certainly feel like you are running on empty but keep going even though you feel like you have no energy left at all. This will result in lethargy and snapping at those closest to you. Your frustrations may even be directed at the person you are caring for at the time. You will also find that you will see less of your friends and family because you don’t have time to make the effort any more. In short, your life will revolve around the elderly person you care for but your moods will swing like a pendulum. When you get to that stage, it is time to do something about it!

As soon as you recognize that you have some of those symptoms you must start to take care of your own health because, if you are not mentally well, then you are not fully capable of looking after someone else. How you cope with this and solve the problem is up to you because everyone has different needs and different ways of relaxing. Some carers simply take a break. They go on holiday or take some time off and arrange for someone else to be around to relieve them for a bit. By doing this, you will not be worrying constantly and will be able to enjoy your time off. Other may seek advice from a counsellor so that they can discuss their frustrations and get them all out into the open. The reason they choose a professional is because they are paid not to judge. You may also be able to get home help in so that you can have more time to yourself during the day.

There is no way of avoiding the stress that caregivers are put under, but you have to take care of yourself first. That is the golden rule. Everyone needs a break, and caregivers are no different, so make sure that you get some time off before everything becomes too much.

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Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior

Posted in Child Care, Miscellany, Parenting on 12/15/2009 08:52 am by Jim

Every child has ” ornery ” moments , but more than 1 in 20 American children exhibit behavioral problems that are out of control. For readers struggling with an unyielding or combative child , this book offers the understanding and guidance they need.
Drawing on Dr. Barkley`s many years of work with parents and children, the book clearly explains what causes defiance, when it becomes a problem ,and how it can be resolved. The book`s comprehensive eight-step program stresses constistency and cooperation , promoting changes through a system of praise, rewards and mild punishment . Readers learn tools and strategies for establishing clear pattrerns of disipline, communicating with children on a level they can understand , and reducing family stress overall. Filled with helpful charts , questionnaires, and chechlists, this book helps parents get their child`s behavior back on track and restore harmony in the home .

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Caring For The Elderly And Incontinence

Posted in Dementia on 12/08/2009 12:24 pm by Jim

Losing Control: Caring For The Elderly And Incontinence

Incontinence is an issue that few people like to talk about, although it is more common than you may think. Over 12 million United States residents suffer from it every day. People of all ages can suffer from this inconvenient and embarrassing condition, but the majority of those who do feel the effects of it are those over the age of sixty. It is also much more common in women than it is in men, largely owing to the fact that women have children causing the muscles that control leakage from the bladder often let them down. If you are planning to or already do care for the elderly then it is an issue that you will have to face sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately, the elderly are at risk of having at least one of the many causes of incontinence. These causes include, but are not limited to weakened pelvic muscles, urinary tract infections, an enlarged prostate gland in men, diabetes, high calcium levels in the body, a thinning of the vagina wall in women and an inability to move around. Most elderly people have at least one of the above, if not a combination of them and thus they cannot control their urinary functioning.

There are four different type of incontinence, and the elderly may suffer with all four if their pelvic muscles are particularly weak. They are stress, urge, functional and overflow. The pressure put on the bladder by the stomach muscles when laughing or sneezing usually causes stress incontinence. Functional incontinence occurs when somebody cannot get to the toilet in time but generally has good bladder control. Overflow incontinence predominantly occurs in males with an enlarged prostate, which blocks the urinary tract to the point that bladder actually becomes overly full. All of these occur in the elderly, but the most common form of it is urge incontinence, where the person is not actually given enough warning before they have to go.

Unfortunately, incontinence is not necessarily treatable in the elderly. Younger people who suffer from incontinence can do a series of exercises to strengthen the pelvic muscles or practice bladder control exercises. However, it is unreasonable to expect the elderly to do this. Medication is available to help to stem the problem, especially if the senior in question has a bladder, kidney or urinary tract infection, but it is not advisable for diabetics to take such medication as it can actually make symptoms worse. Incontinence is a natural part of aging and should be accepted as such.

This doesn’t, however, help you if you are caring for someone who suffers from incontinence. You may well find yourself changing him or her every hour or so, which would also create a sense of embarrassment and discomfort for the individual in question. There is also the risk of getting pressure sores. You can purchase incontinence pads, undergarments or diapers, absorbing moisture and sealing it away from the body. Although they may not feel comfortable to wear them, it may certainly be much better than sitting in wet clothes.

Incontinence is an unfortunate problem for many members of the elderly population because it is a result of the body breaking down and not performing some of the regular functions that it used to do. It is just a matter of learning how to cope with the problems of incontinence without making the senior feel too embarrassed or ashamed. Facing things as a matter of fact rather than an issue full of consternation will take you and your care recipient a long way in getting through some even rougher times.

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