A Life of Care Giving – Becoming an Enlightened Caregiver

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The notion that parents cherish all their children equally — or at least say they do — is so entrenched in our culture that colleagues warned Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University embarking on the first of many studies of family favoritism, that his research would prove futile. No mother, they insisted, would admit to caring more for one son or daughter than another.

So much for that. His team’s interviewers, talking to mothers ages 65 to 75 in the Boston area about their adult offspring, found that most were perfectly willing to name favorites. “Most mothers have very distinct preferences,” Dr. Pillemer said. “There’s one to whom they feel most emotionally close . . .

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This book will answer all the financial and legal questions that can arise when caring for the elderly, including:

• How do you plan for the management of the elder’s affairs should he become incompetent in the future?
• Is the proper insurance being carried or can it be restructured to reduce expenses?
• How much money can I give my elders without impacting government aid?
• What are the goals of estate tax planning?

These questions and more will be answered in the comprehensive 250 Questions format. Whether you are caring full- or part-time for an aging parent, friend, or neighbor, you’ll find all the answers you need in this compact guide.

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I came across this article the other day. I found it because it uses the same title as my blog. When I read it, I thought I must have written it and forgot. It is beautifully written and I encourage you to take a look. It’s short and a very nice read.

October 2007
10:00 a.m. She’s sleeping more and more and waking up later and later every day. She has forgotten how to brush her teeth, so I put the paste on her brush and help her make up and down motions over her teeth. She doesn’t want to bathe this morning, so we skip over that and get dressed. I coax her to place her arms in the sleeves of her blouse and her legs in the pants. She allows me to brush her hair. 11:00 I sit her down at the breakfast table and put a cup of coffee and today’s newspaper in front of her . (go here). .

Monica Dodds understands the pressures that millions of middle-aged Americans endure as they become caregivers to aging parents. Her professional work with the elderly has exposed her to the complex medical, financial, and legal problems that entangle older people. Her personal experience helping ailing family members has given her deep insight into the difficulties caregivers face in dealing with these problems. A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent is a comprehensive guide for caregivers.

Dodds insists that faith is a fundamental part of caregiving, and her approach is deeply rooted in Catholic spirituality. She shows adult children how they can love and serve their aging parents better by deepening their own spiritual lives. “Caregiving”, she says, “is a time of many grace-filled moments.”

Dodds explains how to properly assess the needs of a failing older person, and she writes in detail about the physical, mental, emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual dimensions of care. Three extensive appendices provide checklists for assessing needs, a compilation of resources, and an anthology of prayers.

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Written in a straightforward style, this book offers compassionate, comprehensive advice on how to care for an aging parent, including how to calm a nervous parent and distrust, and what questions to ask a doctor in order to prevent tragic mistakes.

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