A Life of Care Giving – Becoming an Enlightened Caregiver

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What do you do when your aging-but usually reasonable-parents seem to dig in their heels and refuse to “see reason”? when your aging mother can’t get along with the home health aide? when your father refuses to stop driving? when your sister won’t help out? The co-authors, both family therapists, give you a simple problem-solving model for working through any dilemma you and your aging parents may run into, and then take you through 25 of the most common dilemmas. Chapters also include communicating effectively, breaking an impasse, and taking care of yourself in the process.

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With medical science, healthcare, and healthy lifestyles extending our lifespans as never before, more and more midlife adults are finding themselves caring for their aging parents. This role can trigger not only logistical and financial challenges, but also great emotional upheaval. There is a reversal of roles as the child-often in the midst of raising his or her own adolescent or young adult offspring-becomes the caretaker of the parent. A parent’s aging and mortality elicits strong feelings of loss, and a stark realization of one’s own aging and mortality. Past, present, and future paths converge, and the caretaker is at the center of that crossroads. Psychologist Praver-a specialist working with such caretakers-shows us their inner worlds and how they used a difficult point in their lives to embark on a journey of self-understanding and self-transformation-a journey toward a more meaningful life for themselves.

Readers can gain a better understanding of their own lives- and know they are not alone in their struggles to contend with and find powerful benefits from the emotional side of caring for an aging parent. Distress can become peace of mind, as we see in the stories of men and women who sought Praver’s help. Relationships that might be weakened by a caretaker role-relationships between caretakers and their children, spouses, and friends-can actually grow stronger with the experience. Profound issues affecting caretakers are shared in this evocative book, which is an enlightening and enjoyable read.

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Whether whittling down to the essentials for a parent moving into a room or two or downsizing for ourselves, ignoring the spirit and basing decisions on health and safety alone could have devastating results.

In this hope filled book you will learn how to:

Monica Dodds understands the pressures that millions of middle-aged Americans endure as they become caregivers to aging parents. Her professional work with the elderly has exposed her to the complex medical, financial, and legal problems that entangle older people. Her personal experience helping ailing family members has given her deep insight into the difficulties caregivers face in dealing with these problems. A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent is a comprehensive guide for caregivers.

Dodds insists that faith is a fundamental part of caregiving, and her approach is deeply rooted in Catholic spirituality. She shows adult children how they can love and serve their aging parents better by deepening their own spiritual lives. “Caregiving”, she says, “is a time of many grace-filled moments.”

Dodds explains how to properly assess the needs of a failing older person, and she writes in detail about the physical, mental, emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual dimensions of care. Three extensive appendices provide checklists for assessing needs, a compilation of resources, and an anthology of prayers.

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A fresh, funny new voice, Meg Federico showcases her keen eye for the absurd in this poignant, hilarious, and timely account of one daughter’s tumultuous journey caring for her aging parents.

When Meg Federico’s eighty-year-old mother and newly minted step-father were forced to accept full-time home care, she imagined them settling into a Norman-Rockwellian life of docile dependency. With a family of her own and a full time career in Nova Scotia ? a thousand miles away from her parents ? Federico hoped they would be able to take care of themselves for the most part, and call on their children when they really needed them ? but of course that’s not quite what happens.

As she watches with horror from the sidelines, Federico’s parents turn into terrible teens. Fighting off onslaughts of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, Addie and Walter, forbidden by doctors to drink, conspire to order cases of scotch by phone; Addie’s attendant accuses the evening staff of midnight voodoo; Walter’s inhibitions decline as dementia increases and mail-order sex aides arrive at the front door. The list of absurdities goes on and on as Federico tries to take some control over her parents’ lives ? and her own.

This is a story for the huge generation ? nearly 76 million people ? now dealing with the care of their parents. You’ll laugh and cry as you read this powerful and important debut.

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