A Life of Care Giving – Becoming an Enlightened Caregiver

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It is a common belief in society that life goes full circle. You are born, live your life and then die, to put it quite morbidly, but in between you go full circle. Seniors often regress back to their childhood as they go further and further into old age because they may need the same amount of care in their final days as they did in their very first ones. As a result, the care you can give them, as caregivers and relatives, is no longer adequate. As they head into their final days, it may well be time to make a choice as to where they will spend them. A hospice is usually a popular option because of the level of specialist care they offer. This is your quick guide to hospices with a brief overview of the information that you may need to make up your mind.

A hospice is a specialist unit that is usually separated from a hospital. It has a much more friendly atmosphere, despite being a specialist care unit for those who are coming to their last days on this Earth. The staff are all highly trained, but are also employed for what they can bring to the hospice in terms of attitude and efficiency, The staff are a colourful combinations of nurses, doctors, counsellors, assistants and religious community leaders. In effect, they are there to provide for all of your needs in order to make sure that your relative is as comfortable as possible.

Regardless of whether you know how a hospice works or not, it is still an impossible decision to make when it comes to choosing. This is mainly because, despite caring for an elderly relative for a period of time, you still will not want to admit exactly what is going to happen, inevitably sooner rather than later. However, the set up of a hospice is designed to allay these fears and unwillingness to relinquish the controls to a certain extent. It is designed to fully support the family as well as the individual seniors who will go to stay there.

A fear that many carers and family members have is that their relative will be going into a hospice before he or she is ready to do so. However, if you are even considering it then it is most definitely the right time. After all, as the main caregiver, you will have witness the changes that have taken place within your relative over a period of time. It can be so heartbreaking to watch him or her turn into a completely different person as a result of old age and illness. By the time that they have reached the hospice stage, they are no longer the person that you once knew and loved, and the hospice can help you to let go and simply start to grieve.

Hospice care is unobtrusive and, to a certain extent, you could still continue to administer the care that you had been so used to. Staff are there to ensure that your elderly relative is as comfortable as possible, but are also there to help you and will completely understand your role up until that point. You just have to leave your elderly relative in the best hands possible. You did the best you could and there comes a time when you have to enjoy what little time you have left with the centre of your life up until that point.

Vacation And Respite

Caring for an elderly member of your family is a huge responsibility that very few people actually take on today. It is to be commended for so many reasons, especially considering how much caregivers give up in dedicating themselves to their family. When you do accept the task of looking after an individual family member who is no longer capable of taking care of his or herself, a key element to remember is that you have no idea how long this commitment will last. It could be months, it could be years, but one thing you can count on is that you will become mentally and emotionally exhausted and close to burnout in your role as primary caregiver if proper care is not taken to protect yourself.

The role of primary caregiver is an all consuming one that quickly takes over your life. There is no avoidance of this. The problem is that it is impossible to turn off the care giving and so it is essential to get rest every now and again, whether it is getting away for a few days or taking a break within your own home. Just as with an ordinary full time job, you will need to recharge your batteries because they will get very low very quickly.

Before you can think about taking that break, you must make arrangements to have your elderly relative taken care of in your absence. There are a few options when it comes to this aspect of the care you are giving. Your first option is with other family members. Asking for their help can and has led to resentments and even estrangements but if it is for a short time it may be easier to hand over the reigns to family as there is a better chance that they could be brought up to speed with developments and routines. You could also reach them at a moment’s notice and have peace of mind that your elderly relative was being cared for.

The second choice is respite placements at a retirement home. Many homes actually reserve rooms solely for respite cases in order for families to have a rest from the constant demands that are placed upon them. You can view the home in question before booking a place, and all of the homes with this specific facility will be listed at the local authority offices in your area as well as being available via search facilities on the Internet.

Another option is getting in-home help if you are taking a short break. In-home help can be a volunteer from your church or a senior center and they may visit several times a day to wash, dress and feed your relative, however, they may not remain around the clock. This is all dependent on getting a volunteer at all, let alone one that you could trust with that task. There are private companies that provide home care at a price, providing your relative with someone for a longer period of time. If you spend a lot of time with your relative then this may not be the best option to give you peace of mind, and of course it all depends on how able your care recipient is to begin with.

Of course, you could always combine two or more of these options if it was financially viable for you to do so. However, money is often no object where the welfare of a family member is concerned. The choice is yours, but for your own health you must take a break as often as you possibly can in order to remain mentally functional. Burnout is no good for you or for the recipient whose welfare is in your hands. As primary caregiver, you owe it to your family to take a break.

The notion that parents cherish all their children equally — or at least say they do — is so entrenched in our culture that colleagues warned Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University embarking on the first of many studies of family favoritism, that his research would prove futile. No mother, they insisted, would admit to caring more for one son or daughter than another.

So much for that. His team’s interviewers, talking to mothers ages 65 to 75 in the Boston area about their adult offspring, found that most were perfectly willing to name favorites. “Most mothers have very distinct preferences,” Dr. Pillemer said. “There’s one to whom they feel most emotionally close . . .

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There are a lot of issues to consider as our loved ones get older. From in-home care to assisted living facilities, there are myriad options available – and each person’s needs are unique. Family members need a resource that will answer all of their questions and ease them through this often-complicated transition. This helpful handbook guides concerned children as they: decide which level of care is best for their parent; maintain communication and discuss difficult topics; handle home safety issues; manage transportation; find and work with a primary-care physician; navigate insurance paperwork; handle legal issues and questions; and other sensitive issues. From setting up a support network to avoiding scams, this informative guide will help a family decide on – and implement – the best care options for their loved ones.

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